The Outcasts
(AKA: An Alternative Look at the Lives of Gilda and Anon)
You are Anon (who ELSE would you be?).
About two and a half weeks ago, you suddenly found yourself in Equestria.
How? Eh, not important.
Your cursory knowledge of the show led you to believe ponies were filled with butterflies and rainbow farts. They could do no wrong, and never emotionally harm another sentient being intentionally.
In a strange twist of fate, though, the first person you met was a very distressed Gilda. Being a Griffon - half Lion, half Eagle - you had no idea how volatile her emotions could really be. Or why. Or how. She was on the side of the road, crying - no, bawling like a little bitch - for reasons you didn't know.
THAT little interaction went something like this:
"Excuse me, uh.. are.. what's wrong?" You said, holding in your spaghetti and NOT calling her out by name, despite knowing it.
Gilda: *Sniffle* "AH! What ARE you!?" She shrieked, being taken by surprise. She quickly wiped her eyes on her arm, the tears matting her fur.
"Uh.. human, but that's not important right now. Why are you crying? What's the matter?" You tactically take a seat a bit of a distance from her - out of claw swipe range.
Gilda: "It doens't matter! Nothing matters!" She waves her arms in frustration. "Just.. for.. forget you ever saw me.. turbo dweeb." She spat out, with an unmistakeable tone of intense sadness, got up, and started walking away.
Not wanting to be alone - and starting to wonder what else is going on here - you followed her.
"Where are you going?" You ask, staying a bit behind her - rear cat claws hurt like the dickens if they sink in.
Gilda: "Does it matter to YOU!? Do I OWE you something!? NO. So.. just.. just leave me alone." She walked faster.
"No, you don't owe me anything, but.." You shrugged, looking for the words. "..why are you so upset? What happened to you? I.. I want to know."
Gilda: "WHY!? SO YOU CAN LAUGH AT ME, TOO!?" She turned around and roared this.
Your first experience getting a lion roaring in your face. You took it well, and didn't immediately bake a load of fudge in your pants. Gilda simply turned and walked in the direction of a small mountain.
"I'm not going to laugh at you." You'd said. "That mountain.. are you going home?" You'd asked, knowing nothing of the geography of the area.
Gilda: "N-Nah.." She stopped again, and looked up at the mountain. "..when I first learned how to fly, it was when one of my nestmates shoved me out of the nest. I fell.. pretty hard.." She trailed off. "..I wondered what'd happen if I actually flew at the ground, instead of trying to go up.." She started moving again. "..and I think that cliff is plenty high enough to find out."
That breaking voice, the whole change of tone.. it was the voice of someone who'd made up their minds to die. As you processed this, she had glided up some rocks to get up the side of the mountain faster. There was a sheer cliff face about a hundred feet up that dropped sharply into a valley cut into the land by a river - eroded with time.
That valley was a good several hundred feet to the bottom.
"W-Wait..!" You weren't a crisis counselor. "W-We can talk about this!" You had no idea how to talk to someone that was planning - no, had planned and was now in the process of executing - their own demise. "Hey! Come back!" You'd climbed up the side of the mountain, managing to catch up to her about a third of the way up.
Gilda: "JUST GO AWAY!" She'd screamed.
"No! I'm not going away!" You'd grabbed her arm. "I care! I promise, I care! Please! Can we just talk about this!?" You'd demanded.
Gilda: "GET OFF ME!" She'd scratched you, here. Her claws across your chest, cutting deep enough into the skin to draw blood, and shredding your only shirt.
"OWW!" You'd yelped in pain. "That hurt!" And checked yourself for injury. "I'm bleeding.." You'd finally come to that little realization.
Gilda: "I.." She looked both sad and frustrated that she'd actually hurt you. "Just go away.."
She got free and got all the way to the cliff, with you right behind.
"I'm not going away. Please. Don't do this. You don't have to do this!" You were holding your scratches with your off hand, trying to press T-shirt material over them.
Gilda: "Why not..?" She'd said, staring off into the clouds. "I don't have any reason to live. I don't have anything.. nothing.." She lowered her head.
"Nothing at all?" You'd asked, flailing your free arm a little. "No friends? No money? No job? No home..?" This concept seemed outright impossible to you. Not HERE of all places?
Gilda: "Absolutely nothing." She had wiped her eyes again. More tears had come. "My only friend.. she.." She looked in the direction of Ponyville. "..she deliberately set me up to make a fool of myself, and I did, in front of everyone in her town. That.. she.. I looked like a total jerk! I was completely humiliated!" She'd sighed a sobbing sigh. "I.. I came to stay with her a bit.. I didn't tell her, but.." She'd looked away from you again. "I'd basically been thrown out of my home.." And sat down. "..because I didn't want to marry and mate with the guy my dad picked out for me. So.. they banished me." She rubbed her right arm. "Everyone I thought loved me, everyone I thought'd support me - they KNEW I didn't like him - rejected me. I thought.. I thought Dash'd accept me.." Her face screwed up in pain and anguish. "After what we shared in flight school!" She punched the ground several times. "But I was stupid! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" It echoed several times. "She made NEW friends.. she didn't have time for me.. she didn't care.." She'd sniffled, harshly. "Now.. I got nothin'.." She'd then stared at the valley floor below. "..except this."
She let herself fall over the edge. Just.. drop off. Of course, you'd run towards her to stop her - to grab her - but you ended up falling over the edge, almost on top of her.
"NOO!!" And grabbed hold of her as you did. "AAAHHHH!!"
Gilda: "STUPID DWEEB!!" Was all she'd said.
And despite her anger at herself and her desire to die, that good heart in her wouldn't let her be responsible for the death of someone else. Using all her strength, she'd grabbed you in her powerful arms, stretched her wings out, and glided. Given that you weighed more than her, it wasn't a surprise to you at all that she couldn't properly fly - as you later learned, she was built for agility, not strength. It was a small wonder that she'd managed to hold on to you at all.
Your flight lasted about a minute or so. Your landing was predictably...
Gilda: "We're coming in too fast!"
"I'm not letting go!" You'd grabbed hold of her, tightly.
..it was harsh, that landing. You'd both skidded into the dirt pretty hard. You were both injured, but not seriously. When you both regained yourselves, she'd started crying again.
"Are you okay?" You'd asked.
Gilda: "WHY!?" Was all she'd said to you.
"W-h.. I couldn't let you die! There's nothing in this or any world that's worth committing suicide for! Okay, you're down on your luck, but you can always make a fresh start. I just GOT here - I have no idea what's going on, what the hell I'm going to do to feed myself or anything like that, and I certainly don't have any friends. I don't even BELONG here! I'm from another world entirely! I have no idea if I'll ever see my home again. And I'm not thinking about killing myself." You'd shrugged, and rubbed on your sore arm. "I could really use a friend right now, and I think you need one, too."
Gilda: "What.. are.." *Snort* "You'll just up and leave me when you get on your.. whatever those are." She'd dismissively waved her hand at your feet.
"I won't. I'm a loyal person. I don't run out on people that I call friends - unlike some other creatures I know." You'd extended your hand to her. And she'd accepted it.
As the days went by, the two of you travelled to Baltimare, looking to get away from Ponyville. Once you got there, you'd both found jobs right away. Her, doing window washing (they had tall buildings in the city, and flyers of all kinds were just easier to employ) and you.. as a short order cook at a little cafe.
Of course, your first few days in the city weren't all that comfortable. Until the two of you got paid, you were homeless. And Equestria did not have homeless shelters or anything. So, you'd stayed in one of the city parks (which, thankfully, there were no laws against). You slept on a bench, she slept on any spare clouds she could wrangle. Washing up was done when Gilda reported to work each day - you'd cleaned yourselves (and you did your laundry) with the soap for the windows. You'd fed yourselves with fruits from the park's trees, whatever leftovers from the cafe you brought back, and Gilda.. ate the occasional squirrel. Raw.
A couple days ago, though, you'd both gotten paid and looked for a place to stay. However, you were both freaks - she was a Griffon and you.. they had no idea what you were, but you could feel the almost instant racism. The only place that'd rent to you was actually run by another Griffon outcast. The rent wasn't cheap, and the 'apartment' was a single, shabby room with a communal bathroom in the hallway, but it was better than the park.
For entertainment, you told her about Earth. She wasn't a big fan of it - it sounded far too violent for her tastes, but she identified with all the descrimination that took place there. How humans treated other humans poorly just because of their skin color or faith. She was fascinated by the concept of human art, though - music, painting, and sculpting, as you tried your best to describe various classic masterpieces. She would tell you old legends and things, as bet as she could remember them.
Oh, you also found out that Gilda was.. ehh.. more or less 90% Lesbian. Her words?
Gilda: "I suppose if I met the right guy.. but he better be absolutely perfect and not a total dweeb!"
"And you just prefer females?" You shrugged.
Gilda: "Eh.. you know.. tomboy types. All the fun, none of the upkeep." She shrugged.
"I get you." You were Anon - by default this means you'd be interested in any nice piece of ass that's willing to do the nasty (because that's how these stories work). "You get cravings for it?" An idle question. "I know some girls back on Earth that literally can't go more than a few days without it."
Gilda: "Uh." She flushed just a little. "N-No." And looked away. "Okay, yes, but I can handle it myself. It doesn't take long." She waved a hand.
You two were sitting in your one little room - you had two blankets and a mattress you'd scavenged from behind some rich stallion's home. Gilda was smoking - it was her big vice (and a shocker to you that tobacco was cultivated here - apparently, it was a Griffon-specific addiction) and you had enough to afford her (roughly) one-cigarette-a-day habit. She wouldn't have smoked otherwise.
"Oh? I never noticed.." You give her a bit of a nudge - playful, like you would a Bro.
Gilda: "I-I do it at work, okay? Up on the high buildings when no one's looking. It doesn't even take a minute! I mean, it's just a quickie thing.." She *Ahem'ed* a bit.
"Okay. You wonder why it takes me so long in the bathroom? It takes a few minutes to rub one out." You shrugged. "It takes even longer if I'm actually doing it." Hey, you were bro-tier buddies, now. This was nothing you didn't share with some of your closer bro's back home - long discussions of masturbation and porn were not taboo (especially if beer was involved).
Gilda: "Wh-what?!" She seemed shocked at this. "S-Stallions only last about.. ten seconds, or so.. and.. griffons about that long, maybe less.." She trailed off. "Minutes!?"
"Oh, that's nothing. Me and my ex-girlfriend went at it for three hours, one time. Just constantly pounding her, getting off, her doing, like, oral or something, then me going right back at it. I got off like.. four or five times? Passed out afterwards." You chuckled. That had been a good evening.
Gilda: "HOURS?!" *HA!* "You're pulling my leg!" She puffed up a little. "Either that, or your dick's so small, it takes that long just to get it to do anything."
"Oh, really?" You shrugged and pulled your boxers off. Summoning up the most erotic thought you could - your ex's perfect tits and ass that you'd pounded for hours - you achieved a boner. And since you hadn't fapped today, Anon Jr. was raring to go and greedily complied with your summoning.
Gilda: *Gasp* "Wh.. wow.." She was blushing. Hard.
"Yeah. And with this, I could get you or any girl on this world rockin' and rollin' for at least half an hour." That was your usual par time - some foreplay, a few minutes of hard fucking with a few pauses for erotic kisses and whatnot, then the creamy finish.
Gilda: "N-No way." She still didn't believe you.
"Wanna go?" You shrugged. "Personally, I don't think you could handle it." You smirked a little. This was fun!
Gilda: "I-I.. I don't want to lay eggs..!" She finally stammered out.
"Excuses, excuses. We're nowhere near the same species - there's no chance of US having kids." You reached out and petted the side of her belly. "You're just chicken, is what you are." You teased.
Gilda: "F-Fine! But when you fail, I'm never going to-HO-HOoooo!" She squealed as you started rubbing her netherlips.
You moved in behind her, and with her looking away, fingered her hole. It was already moist with expectation.. and, fuck, it was tighter than a painted-on latex dress. There was no way Anon Jr. was going to fit in here without some serious work. So, you patiently finger her for a few minutes - she's so tight, you only need your thumb. And she starts alternating between deep, thrumming purrs, and loud yowls every ten to thirty seconds.. finally, though, she was loosened up enough to get two fingers inside.. and that should be just enough..
Gilda: "Th-th-hhaatt.. wasn't a half an hour.." *Mmhm* "Dweeb."
"I was only using my thumb, Gilda. You're too tight." You hold your girlcum soaked (and now wrinkly) thumb in front of her face.
Gilda: "Your THUMB!?" She was shocked.
"Yeah.. but I think you're loose enough, now, for me to..."
*SCHLICK!* In it goes!
Gilda: "FAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!" That was entirely unintelligable!
You couldn't see it, but her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she'd nearly passed out from the sensation of your gentle, firm penetration of her.. everything. You soon realize that you've gone past her cervix and were inside her womb.
Kinky! Is all you can think.
And you proceed to pound her.. thrusting slowly at first, in and out, trying to work Anon Jr. deep into her inviting depths.. and she was cumming so incredibly hard that the spasms were actually making this difficult. They FELT good, though. And you proceeded to drill into her at this gradual pace, to encourage her cunt to loosen up, until, finally, you were completely balls deep inside of her.
And bottomed out in her womb.
Gilda: *Ghn* "Anon.. fuck.. fuck me.." She squealed like a whore.
That made your dick hard as diamonds. She was BEGGING for it. The mere thought that this proud, tsundere, snooty Griffon chick was now begging for hot monkey dick.. that you'd stretched her out from being able to accept a short Griffon cock to taking all of you.. and she was now sliding back and forth on you, on her own..
..you imagined this is the kind of stretching (comparitively, by scale) that women who fuck horses undergo..
..yeah, this was about the sexiest thing you could imagine at this moment. So, you let her dictate the pace a bit, you let her go crosseyed on her own time, you let HER turn HERSELF into a drooling monkey cock addicted whore..
..while you enjoyed the sensations of her impossibly tight snatch, and the quivering of her walls around your hard shaft. Finally, though, you decide that enough is enough, and you quicken your pace. Fucking her faster and faster.. pounding that little bird/cat cunt with all of your might.. and she was completely out of it. When you finally reached your apex and slammed into her one final time, she almost screamed in pleasure.. and you cumming inside of her - given how tight she was - got her off AGAIN.
Finally, you slid back on to the mattress, and just relaxed. She was face down, ass up, halfway covering your legs from your hips down, her head somewhere between your feet, now. She passed out.
You made Gilda pass the fuck out.
And, as you think about it, you might have been the very first dick she ever had.
A few days pass after that. She slept on the edge of the mattress every night, not daring to get close to you. After all, you'd turned her into a mindless whore, then went and acted like it was nothing special.
In her mind, though, she WANTED you. AGAIN. MORE. And she was being consumed by these thoughts.
One night, as you two got comfortable, she suddenly rolled over and slid the palms of her claw-hands up your torso.
"Whoa, hey, what!?" You say, startled.
Gilda: "Damnit, Anon.. I-I.." And she kissed you.
Kissing a beak isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but she made it work with her tongue doing most of the talking. And she made that tongue of hers do some really kinky shit in your mouth. It was smooth, actually - not the rough sandpaper you expected. It was more like a kitten's tongue - just rough enough to get the job done, and smooth the rest of the way.
"Gilda.." You start, softly, as she pulls away.
Gilda: "L-Let's not make this wierd, okay?! I just want.. I just want a fuck, that's all. And I don't see any Mares or anything around.." She said, positioning herself over your crotch.
"Sure.." You grin, softly, then teasingly. "You sure you're not getting addicted?"
Gilda: "Sh-shut up.. dweeb.." She said, in very soft, very tender tones.
The actions performed were very close to the last time. Save, she was JUST loose enough to FORCE your cock inside her.. and she did so leaning back, perched over you.. halfway between dominance and submission. She did all the work herself, too, until the very end.. when she pulled you on top of her.
Gilda: "D.. dom me.. fuckin'.. dweeb.." She said, in a very, very soft, lusty voice.
You embraced her, and didn't torment her much longer, going right to the finish line, but still making her cum multiple times before you ended it.
Then, she held you close. Very close. Backwards on the bed, and she fell alseep.
Purring.
The next.. oh.. several WEEKS was dominated by the two of you going to work, coming back, talking, making dinner.. cuddling.. sometimes fucking.. and rather enjoying the one mattress.
After Gilda was gone from her home about four months, finally, someone from her life tracked her down.
"Huh.. who's knocking THIS late in the afternoon?" She frowned.
"I got it, I'm closer." You get up, go over, and open the door.
A very stately Griffon in a nice suit stands there. His feathers are carefully groomed and trimmed. He has an assistant with him, that's a Pony, also in a suit, with proper shoes on their back hooves, and even a little vest with their sport coat.
"Is this Gilda's apartment?" The pony asks.
"This is.. ME.. and Gilda's apartment, yes." You nod.
"I am Assistant Hooftop." The pony bows his head at you. "We are here to speak to Miss Gilda."
You look back at her, out of their line of sight. She looks PETRIFIED, and shakes her head NO.
"She's not here. Might be out at the park eating squirrels, again." You shrug.
"EATING SQUIRRELS!?" The Griffon roars. "Why that.. that.. COME ALONG, HOOFTOP!" The Griffon grabs the Pony and.. kinda RUNS downstairs.
You shut the door, then look at Gilda.
"They'll be back. Out with it." You nod.
"..that was my father." She lowered her head. "He's.. uhm.. an assistant to the King." She coffs a bit. "More like.. Prime Minister."
"Y-" You blink. "You're from the upper class?!" You seem a bit shocked.
"YES! Dweeb King." She frowns.. then smiles at you.. then frowns again. "Ghh.. if he finds out I've been getting Monkey Dick, he's probably going to have you killed."
"You're SERIOUS!" You frown. "Fuck THAT! I don't care if he's Celestia's butthole licker, he's not taking my Girlfriend away."
"G-Girlfriend?!" She seemed stunned.
"Yeah.. ah.." You shrug. "Dweeby feelings, I kn-"
You're shut up by her zooming across the room, and beak-kissing you. Carefully, but passionately.
"Now I really don't want to go back." She smiles a little at you. "Come on. We gotta ditch this place."
Quickly, the two of you gather up the few essentials you'll need, and you climb up the side of the building to the roof. Once up there, she more or less glides you from rooftop to rooftop, until you're well out of the city core.
After that.. you're on the ground, and marching. All those months of hard work have toughened you, and you maintain a pretty good pace, until night fall.
You go down the Mareland shores until you find a seaside cave, and get inside it. You've probably put a good 12 miles between you and Baltimare.
Once inside the cave, the two of you relax.
"Well.. NOW what?" You shrug.
"I suppose we can keep going up the shore and cross over to Whinnyton." She shrugs. "Good sized town.. quite a few Griffons live there, too. And Fillydelphia is right across the way."
"Mmm.. that'd be a couple days' walk, but, I suppose we could manage it." You shrug. "Then what? Daddy's going to come for you again, and I bet he brings a SWAT team this time!" You nod.
"I'm.. I'm really not sure." She snorted, and started rolling a cigarette. "I don't really know what to do."
"Mmm. I think we should skip the country entirely." You shrug. "I know the Crystal Kingdom is closer to the Griffons, but.. I bet if we could get an audience with Cadence and state our story.." You shrug. "..and tell her we're in love.."
"..okay, yeah.." She slides up to you. "I guess we are."
"..she might give us Sanctuary." You gesture. "She's the Princess of Love, after all - if she let our love become Tragic, that'd ruin her image."
"Oooo.. good thinking, Monkey Boy." She nuzzled you, and cuddled close. "Let's get some sleep for now, okay?"
You snuggled together with your blanket wrapped around your meager possessions. You.. really did love her, now that the thought was there. There was just something about her.. every time you thought about her, your stomach would flip over. Your mind wandered to the idea of adopting children.. having a real job..
You two awoke the next day, and once you were certain you weren't in immediate danger, made for the nearest town. Head of Elk, Mareland.
Once in the town, a memory of a bit of knowledge came to your mind.
"Hey, Gilda.. this town in my world.." You smile.. and take her clawed hand, running to the nearest Church. "Come on!"
"Wait! Wait! Where are we going?!" She wasn't trying to STOP you, though..
"We're going to get married!" You nod. "Then Cadence will HAVE to listen to us!"
"You're SERIOUS!" She wasn't.. objecting.. though.
"Darn straight. Elkton, or Head of Elk, on Earth, was the Number ONE place to Elope for decades!" It's true, folks.
You kinda barge into the church, and find the Priest sitting by himself, reading the Celestian Bible.
"Ah.. Father?" You address him.
Father Tumbles looks up from the Good Book, and.. "Ah! Yes, my-" He blinks and looks at the two of you. "-children. How may I help you?"
"Father.." You start.
"Father we want to be married." Gilda blurts out, her cheeks flushing.
Father Tumbles nods.
"Have you two been.. together.. long?" He shrugs, standing up, hoofing through the book for the right parts.
"Months, Father." You say. "When I first arrived in this land, Gilda was the first person I saw.."
"..and he saved my life." She continued. "Over time.. we.. became comfortable.. very comfortable.."
"..and intimate." You blush. "She.. she means everything to me. And now, we're.."
"..if we aren't wed, my father, Prime Minister Buran, will have him killed." Gilda swallows.
"Oh, dear! Well, we can't have that, can we?" He smiles to the two of you. "I can certainly see the love between you, the desire to protect and support each other." He nods. "As you've already joined hands.." He shrugs. "..Dearly beloved, we are here today to join.." He nods to you.
"Anon Y Mous." You nod back.
"..and.." He looks to Gilda.
"..Gilda Buran."
"..in Holy Matrimony." He nods.
There's.. a hard knock at the door.
"GILDA! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" A griffonic voice bellows.
*Ahem!* "The Short version, then!" He nods. "Do you, Gilda, take Anon to be your husband, to have, hold, love, cherish, and protect for as long as you both shall live?"
"I DO!" She nods.
"And do you, Anon-"
*WHAM!*
"OPEN THIS DOOR IN THE NAME OF THE GRIFFON KINGDOM!!"
"-take Gilda and do all that stuff with her that I just said?" To his immense credit, he did not show fear, pause, or miss a beat, just sped things up.
"I do!" You grin widely.
"Then by the power vested in me by Princess Celestia-"
"BREAK IT DOWN! BREAK-IT-DOWN!"
"INowPronounceYouStallionAndMareYouMayKissTheBride." He said rapidly.
As the doors shattered, the two of you embraced. The Griffons charged in, but Father Tumbles ZOOMED from behind the Pulpit and stood in front of them.
"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!!!" He bellowed, with Fire and Brimstone. "YOU. WILL. NOT. VIOLATE. THE. SANCTITY. OF. CELESTIA'S. CHURCH!"
The Prime Minster entered, surrounded by Guards.
Prime Minister Buran: "..interloper. What is to stop us?" He crosses his arms.
"The fact that I am Father Tumbles, a Priest in the Order of Celestia." Father Tumbles crossed his forelegs. "And to violate Sanctuary, is Casus Belli." He GLARED at him. "Keeping in mind, of course, that not ONE but TWO nations of Ponies, AND the Combined Elements of Harmony.. back my words."
Prime Minister Buran: "Mm." He nodded a bit. "Yet, those two are not Equestrians. I have NO idea what that hairless beast is, but the other is MY DAUGHTER!" He pointed at the two of you.
"Actually.. I'm your Son-In-Law." Bad choice of words.
"I WILL PAINT THIS BUILDING WITH YOUR BLOOD!!" He roared with ther ferocity of a Lion with his nuts kicked in, tossed Tumbles aside, and made for you....
..and you and Gilda made for the back door!
"RUN! I THINK I PISSED YOUR DAD OFF!" You say, your legs like a locomotor.
"GEE, YA THINK!? YOU'RE CRAZY!" She said, taking flight. "GOOD THING I LOVE CRAZY!" She laughs.
The two of you duck, dodge, shuck, and jive through buildings and alley ways, until you see the Train Yard. And.. you just jump into an open box car and SHUT it.
"Hopefully, they didn't see us." You shrug.
"I think we lost 'em." She shrugs.
The two of you curl up together.. and just ride.
Over a day later, the train finally stops. You open the box car door, and see..
"Well, THAT was lucky! We're in the Crystal Kingdom!" You jump out, and take her claw. "My dear lady.."
"Flirting?! NOW!?" She snorts, accepts your hand, and gets out.. then kisses you. "Come on."
The two of you make for the palace.. FAST. Thankfully, Pony security is rather lacking if you use just a bit of imagination, and you simply scale the side wall, and climb into the first open window you can find.
Which.. happens to be Shining Armor's official office.
And you end up climbing on to his desk.
"Oh. Whoops!" You bow your head, helping Gilda in.
"What IS this?! What's going on?! Who ARE you?" He gets up.
"Ahh. I'm Anon Y Mous, and this is Gilda Mous, nee Buran. We.. got married in Head of Elk almost two days ago, her father is the Prime Minister of the Griffon Kingdom, and he's threatened to kill m-"
"Hang on. Let.. come on, we need to explain this to my wife, too." He shrugs.
In short order, you're standing before Cadence, in their bedroom.
"Honey, this is Anon and Gilda. They're married, now, but Gilda's father is the Prime Minister of the Griffon Kingdom.." He starts to explain as a Guard enters.
"Sire! Princess! The Prime Minister of the Griffon Kingdom has arrived and demands an immediate audience. He says it's an emergency.. someone's kidnapped his daughter. Some.. dangerous.. monster.." He blinks, looking at you.
"He's made it clear, if he gets his claws on me, I'm going to be a skin carpet in his bathroom, Your Highness. And we DO love each other.." You explain.
"..very, very much." Gilda blushes.
"We request Asylum on the grounds that we represent a couple with true love, and denial of which would make our love tragic, with me slain, and her forced back to her kingdom to wed a Griffon she has no love for, for the purposes of forced procreation." You bow to Cadence and Shining.
Cadence gets a thoughtful look on her face, then reaches out and touches each of you in turn with the soft pad of her forehoof.
"Oh.. WOW.. that's.. that some spicy love, right there. But.. it IS True Love." She nods. "My dear? Summon the Guards. ALL of them."
"Right away, honey!" Off he trots.
"Guard. Get a message to Aunt Celestia. Immediately. I need her and Luna here at once." She nods.
"Right away, Princess." The Guard bows and departs.
"I grant you two Asylum in the Crystal Kingdom. None shall force your departure under threat of War." She narrows her eyes a bit. "NONE."
After a few minutes, you're led to the corridor outside the throne room, and told to wait. Cadence and Shining enter, to speak to the Prime Minister.
"Prime Minister Buran. I apologise for the wait." She nods to him.
"Princess Cadence. I apologize for the intrusion.. but, this is an emergency. Some fearsome hairless beast has made off with my daughter! And I fear they're headed this way!" He snorts a bit, in frustration.
"I see." She nods, as a guard steps up to her, says something, and departs. "Would this have anything to do with an incident in Head of Elk, Mareland?"
"Well.. you see.." He starts.
"Say no more." She nods towards the hallway, and the two of you enter. Along with about thirty Royal Guards armed with crossbows and spears.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" He bellows.
"Simply this - they are Wed under my Aunt's laws. And I have granted them Asylum, as their love is True, and *I* am the *PRINCESS* of *LOVE.*" She glares at him.
"And.. I'm her husband.. and leader of the Guards." He nods to them..
..and suddenly, the Prime Minister finds those spears and crossbows AIMED AT HIM AND HIS PARTY!
"NONE shall force these two to be parted! NONE but a NATURAL death." She glares.. hard. "My Aunt has already been advised of the situation.."
"..and she's here." Celestia announced, stepping forth from the side room. "Prime Minister."
"Y-Bu-MY DAU-YOU!" He glares at you. "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE! I AM ABSOLUTELY INSULTED! HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE WITH MY FAMILY'S AFFAIRS!" He glares at Cadence. "Princess of LOVE indeed!" He snorts. "PRINCESS WHORESALOT!" He points at her.
Ohhhh... SHINING DID NOT TAKE THAT WELL!
Before Cadence could do anything, Shining teleported over to the Prime Minister and hoof-punched him in the beak so hard, you SWEAR it spun around the back of his head, then to the front again.
He was laid out by a SINGLE right cross.
"Pick up your garbage and LEAVE OUR KINGDOM!" He demanded of Mr. Hooftop. "And if ANY Griffon EVER dares to ENTER these lands again with HOSTILITY?" He nods to his Archers. "I will PERSONALLY pin their pelt to OUR castle's walls. WE represent LOVE.. but we will DEFEND that love with EVERY drop of blood." He nodded to the other Griffons. "Now, if you don't want to be pincushions.. GET. OUT!"
The party timidly, panickedly, grab up the Prime Minister and scurry out of there like kittens sprayed with a garden hose.
"Honey.." Cadence starts.
"Ah.. yes, dear?" He blushes a bit.
"..you are SO getting laid tonight." She smirks. "I LOVE seeing it when you get righteously angry.. and protective.. and.." She just bit her lower lip.
"Ah. Well. Dear niece. Seems I wasn't needed after all!" She giggles. "Shining! I'm SO proud of you." She looks over to you two. "And as for you.. I have so many questions." She shrugged.
The two of you? Had been holding on to each other for dear life the whole time.
So.. the fallout from this was interesting. Glida's father, once the King found out what he did, was fired and imprisoned for five years for misuse of public resources and humiliating the Griffonic Crown. This led to talks, negotiations, and eventually, a mutual defense treaty.
You two were given gainful employment at the Palace. Gilda as a Maid, you as a Chef. And OH BOY did she get a "humiliation fetish" thrill from that MAID outfit!
While the two of you could never have eggs of your own, you did end up adopting an orphaned foal late that winter..
..but, that's a story for another time.
