Chapter 49: Great Returns
Part 1: Grey Goo
TIME: 00:07 QEST
DATE: War Day 470/19 Septimus 1003 C.S.
LOCATION: Experimental Lab
I woke up with a bandaged Sacquet lifting me off the floor. His right foreleg was clearly broken and splinted. I groaned.
Dr. Allcome: "Well. Seems you made it." He was on the other side, checking me over.
K: "Sacquet! Mon ami!" I hugged him.
He just about screamed in pain.
K: "Sorry! Sorry.. sorry.." I leaned back.
Sacquet: *Grunt/Groan* "There are but a dozen of us.." *Ngh* "Marechal."
La Selle: "Dusty is alive, too, Doctor." She paced over, a bandage over her ribs.
Gorcat: "Hey! You made it!" He knelt down by me. "That was the most intense thing I've ever done."
Jade: "Speak for yourself!" She whined. "I'm hurt all over!"
K: "Report, Colonel." I nodded, sitting up.
Sacquet: "Your friends are much tougher than I ever thought. We became separated.. you see.. the Legion formed a salient by their.. what did you call it?" He looked at Havoc.
Havoc: "Motor pool." He nodded.
Sacquet: "We denied them the use of their vehicles." He shook his head. "I lost almost all my Legionnaires. Brogard. LeFaucheaux." He lowered his head. "Deudonne died, saving our lives. He commandeered one of those vehicles, loaded with explosives, and drove it right into them.."
K: "I knew he was a Hero." I shook my head. "I'm so sorry. He and Brogard were good officers."
Sacquet: "Then, your.. heh.. patchwork army showed up, and rescued us. The enemy is all dead. They have also swept the entire facility." He nodded.
I rolled over.
K: "Gaze. Report."
He trotted up, also sporting some bandages.
Gaze: "Colonel's right, suh." He gestured. "I took us 'round th' flank, his idea, t'try'n cut 'em off from reinforcements - there was'zis bunker, see, had all 'em Porcines innit. They was pourin' out an' jes' floodin' us wit' bodies. So, I sez t'Dash, I sez, get th' Colonel, I gots an idea, we'll cut th' bastards off, force 'em to stay inside. Sos, we did, kept pumpin' grenades inna th' openings, kept 'em pinned down, so's they couldn't reinforce the Duregars and Raptorians." He shrugged.
K: "They racially segregate their troops. Hm." I nodded. "Thanks." I sat all the way up. "Whoever's got a radio, call the Artillery company, have them form litter teams to come pick us up. Abandon the guns for now, we'll come back for them, later."
Right now, and I'm sure everyone thought the same thing, we just wanted to go home.
The facility would be reinvestigated later. Right now, my remaining troops were far more important to me. I had no idea the fallout from this was going to be almost as bad as the battle itself.
TIME: 21:00 QEST
DATE: War Day 474/23 Septimus, 1003 C.S.
LOCATION: Legion Fort, Region Nord, Republique du Quirtbeck
It took us a full day and change to get back to the fort. When we arrived, and chased off the woodland creatures that had decided to move in, the severely wounded Legionnaires were set to rest.
As Sacquet had said, only a dozen of his men were still walking under their own power. Another nine were greviously injured. The rest were all dead, including two fine officers. Gorton was bad off, but he'd make it. La Selle had broken her ribs, but she'd be fine. Sacquet had a broken leg.. and I made a joke to him about what happens to broken-legged horses on Earth.
He's the only one that laughed, but boy, did he laugh.
It was now sevreal days later. I still felt.. drained. Like, whatever I'd done, had taken something out of me. Norfy and Rarity felt the same way. Gaze, recollecting some more old family legends, theorized that us channeling Cadence and the Crystal Heart like we did, probably drained our physical energies once our magic power (ZERO in my case) was used up.
The Detrot Infantry arrived three days ago to help us out. They sent back a courier as fast as possible to catch the train at the railhead and send a report.
Dusty, of all people, tended to me while I was laid up. Too tired to really do much.
Dusty: "Here you go, sir." She got me into bed.
K: "Dusty.. there's something I wanted to bring up.." I finally said.
Dusty: "Y-yes, sir." She blushed.
K: "You have a crush on me, don't you?" I came right out with it.
Dusty: "I.." She looked down, then back up.
She crawled into bed with me, and started kissing me. Her uniform shirt was quickly shed, and I found myself unable to resist at all. I wasn't even thinking about it. My A-Frame was off, and I was getting my pants off, all the while, holding her in one arm, kissing her deeply.
She tasted like chocolate milk, but not the really expensive kind, no, she tasted like the chocolate milk they give school kids, which, despite its chalky after taste, makes you want more of it for some reason, despite the cheapness.
I got fully naked with her, and before I realized what I was even doing, I had myself fully inside her. She was tight, and I did feel her hymen break.
Dusty: *N'Gah!* "Kah.. K.." *Lusty moan* "D-Damnit.."
She rode me. Right in my lap. She was a VOCAL one, too. Each thrust was met by a lustful cry, her eyes rolled in the back of her head, her tongue started to loll out.. I felt her get off. Her walls flexed around my shaft.
She had no idea what she was in for. I absolutely pounded her in Cowgirl, bouncing her up and down, while she sloppily made out with me. I pushed her down to the bed, and mounted her face to face, my hips a piston of lust. Her forelegs draped over me.
Her tongue was either in my mouth, or lolled outside of hers. She was soaking wet, absolutely flooded. Every orgasm for her, was special, she gripped in to me and held me tightly. Finally, after about.. fifteen minutes.. I pulled back.
K: "I still haven't finished.." I said, as I rolled her over into Classic Doggystyle (or, in this case, Horse Style). "Get ready for an invasion."
My girlcum-soaked tool greedily invaded her ass. She came almost instantly. Moaning louder, bucking her hips, mewling, gently chewing on the tip of her hoof as she looked back to see me absolutely dominate her.
After another five of this, and several more pillow-chewing orgasms, I finally released my salesmen in her back door. She was absolutely spent after that, and just sank into the bed.
K: "You got a problem." I stated.
Dusty: "Mmmhh..?"
K: "I'm good for hours. Not twenty minutes. I've only shot off one load.. I'm good for at least two more." I grinned.
Dusty: "Ohhhhh...!" *Lustful/Complaintant moan*
Do not anger the Monkey Sex God unprepared. Toola Roola said that, once.
[End of Part 1]
Part 2: Reinforcements
TIME: 09:00 QEST
DATE: War Day 480/29 Septimus, 1003 C.S.
LOCATION: Legion Fort, Region Nord, Republique du Quirtbeck
Fluttershy had brought me breakfast that next day. She saw me tangled up with Dusty. She was.. jealous. Dusty had been able to give to me, the one thing that had been stolen from her. She made up for it by sitting at the edge of the bed and talking about all the dirty things she fantasized about, and torturing herself by directing us to do it.
Fluttershy is, indeed, a sexual freak. Confirmed. Whether this is because of her rape incidents in the past, or she was always like this, is up for debate. What I do know, is, she can certainly get the job done when you force her to join in and stop beating herself off/up.
Rarity, for her part, knew it was coming. Ever since we linked when we destroyed the Smooze, she knew I was going to end up putting Dusty in bed. She had no idea Fluttershy would join in. She wanted to make it an orgy after the fact.
What happened, next, though. I didn't expect at all.
A band, a marching band - small, probably five instruments - and the sound of marching hooves coming along the corduroy road that Ambrosia and Jim had built. A large formation.. Battalion's strength or so.
I was out in the main courtyard, uniform lazily on, helping with some of the work when I heard it.
K: "HEY! Top Brass on the way! Robard! Go get La Selle and Sacquet! Tell them to get their pretty ribbons on! Go!"
Robard: "Oui, mon Marechal!"
I hurriedly fixed my uniform, and Rarity brought me my sword while she was trying to get her nicer "Naval Advisor" uniform on.
Rarity: "What do you think, Darling?" She tilted her head.
K: "Probably Prench senior officers, here to reward Sacquet for saving the world." I shrugged. "That's what I'd be doing."
Sacquet: "LEGION! ASSEMBLE! ATTEN-SHAUN!" He stood at attention as best he could.
Indeed, a battalion of Prench Army arrived, led by a pipe-and-drum section. Immediately behind them were the Colour Bearers. And behind them, three Prench generals - two Generals de Bregade, one General de Division.
K: "Equestrian and Allied Forces! Atten-HUUH!" I nodded to the incoming formation. "RENDER HONORS!" A hand salute to the Prench flag.
Interesing that it was identical to the FRENCH flag, save the blue was slightly pastel, and the red a bit more vibrant. It also had a Burgrundian "thorned vine" along the pole-side edge. Fascinating.
Prench General de Division: "FIRST BATTALION! HALT!" A pause. "FALL IN!"
They, very smartly, got into neat, ordered rows.
Sacquet - painfully - stepped forwards. And I with him.
Sacquet: "Region Nord Command Group, reporting, General Deux-Ponts." He saluted.
K: "Equestrian and Allied Forces, reporting as requested for mutual aid, General." I did, too.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "Colonel Sacquet. The courier that was sent back with the report." He looked at the other two generals. "We are surprised to see you still here, Colonel.."
Sacquet: "Ah, mon General, it was not easy, but I was fortunate to survi-"
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "NOT LIKE THAT!"
I immediately did not like his tone.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "Colonel Phillipe Jean Sacquet, do you deny that your entire command has been effectively destroyed?!" He started in.
Sacquet, now, was defensive.
Sacquet: "Mon General! Oui.. but.. we had a mission!"
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "YOUR MISSION WAS TO CONSTRUCT ZEES FORT! NOT PARTAKE IN FRIVILOUS ADVENTURES!" He stormed at him.
K: "I don't like your attitude, General." I snapped.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "Mon Marechal.. zees is an internal Prench matter." He nodded. "Weeth all due respect to your station, zees is not a combat sceanrio, therefore, you haven't authority in zees matter." He was calm towads me.
Sacquet: "Did.. did you not read the report!? The.. the SMOOZE..!"
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "I READ THE REPORT! What I saw was an officer that disregarded and ultimately discarded our procedures, and took his entire command and marched almost all of them to their deaths! One that FAILED his OBJECTIVE to SECURE this FORTIFICATION! YOUR SOLDIERS ARE DEAD!" He berated him, angrily. "Granted.. they are but Legionnaires.." He paused, giving a dismissive hoof-raise. "..they can be replaced the next time we sweep out an alley or a whorehouse."
La Selle GASPED at those words. Gorton, who I didn't realize was even walking, let alone standing there, was growling. I didn't see it, but the remaining Legionnaires went to 'at ease' as a sign of disrespect.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "MOREOVER! You lost HALF of your officers! And you DEMOTED one of them for NO CAUSE!"
K: "That.. that part I'm stepping in on. That pony challenged me to a duel, then changed the rules mid-way because he was losing. His conduct in the duel brought shame to his uniform. Conduct Unbecoming a Prench Officer." I nodded.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "Simple enough to explain, Marechal. You simply do not understands how we ponies of culture conduct such things. No matter. We understand.. you are only human." He nodded to me with the left-hand compliments.
K: "That comment was out of line, General. Verging on defamatory and libelous." I narrowed my eyes at him.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "I meant no offense.. Marechal.." He turned back to Sacquet. "There was an investigation and tribunal aboard the transport train to here. We have found vous in dereliction of your duties, guilty of conduct unbecoming an officer, and gross incompetence for having your unit virtually destroyed, and having to be rescued by our allies, instead of showing the strength of our nation and rescuing THEM!" He prodded Sacquet's chest.
Sacqet was on the verge of tears.
Sacquet: "What is my punishment, General?" He said this with gritted determination.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "You are relieved of command of the Legion. You will be reassigned to an administrative post in Paris for the duration of the war. Then discharged on half-pension. Be glad I did not have consensus to have you dragged away in irons!"
K: "UN-FUCKING-ACCEPTABLE!" I stepped in between them. "You conducted a trial without the accused. Based on what evidence? A hand full of after-action reports! NO DIRECT TESTIMONY!" I stormed at the General, now. "AND WHAT DEFENSE DID PHILLIPE HAVE?! WHAT CHANCE DID HE HAVE TO DEFEND HIS ACTIONS?! HE ACTED UNDER MY ORDERS, GENERAL!" I thumped my chest. "MINE! I OVERRODE HIS ORDERS TO CONSTRUCT THE FORT! TO SECURE IT! THE SMOOZE WAS THE GREATER THREAT!!" I now poked his. Hard.
His Assistant took a half step back, and I could see him remove the strap from his sidearm.
K: "Rarity." I stated.
Rarity: "I have General Deux-Ponts covered, K." She had her Hathcock aimed.
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "Covered..!?" He realized a sniper had him dead in her sights. "MARECHAL! YOUR INVITATION HERE IS ENDED! LEAVE! ZEES FORT IS PRENCH PROPERTY!" He demanded, though with a tone of fear.
K: "You want the fort, General, it's yours." I stated. "LEGION! DETROT MILITIA! EQUESTRIAN ARMY! ALLIES! FORM UP AND PREPARE TO MARCH!" I looked back at him. "I'm taking MY army with me. After I get done talking to Princess Escargot about this, be lucky I don't have you facing a firing squad."
Gen. Deux-Ponts: "I think you will find I have many friends at Court, Marechal." He said, tersely.
K: "Fuck you." I pointed at him. "Just for that, you're damn straight I'm going to have you three stooges here lined up."
Dusty: "Formation ready, General."
K: "The Legion are not your toys to play with and break, General. These are soldiers. Not trash." I scowled at him. "FORMATION! MOVE OUT!" I moved over to Ambrosia. "Do me a favor." I said. "Remember the traps I asked you to set, to demo' the fort if it got overrun?"
She just handed me the wired clacker.
I pressed the button. In a moment, all the fort walls came down, as did the towers, the outbuildings we built.. everything. The Generals had an army, but they no longer had the fruits of their slave labor.
[End of Part 2]
Part 3: Royal Dressing
TIME: 10:00 Greenwich Mean Time
DATE: War Day 488/7 Octavius 1003 C.S.
LOCATION: Royal Palace, Paris, Prance
The rest of my staff met me in Paris, along with Celestia. She was fuming. I explained everything to her, including how the Prench generals talked about the Legion.
Celestia: "..and you say, K, that you couldn't have done better?"
K: "Not at the odds he was facing. Easily 20 to 1, and on top of that, a third of them were Porcine. Physically, they're worth four Big Macs." I nodded to my brother. "To be honest, I give him credit for not being completely overrun and wiped out, to a man."
Rarity: "And they called these brave Legionnaires literal TRASH, Your Highness! Said they'd be able to replenish their numbers after hosing down an alley and raiding a whorehouse!" Rarity was full on with the 'hurt' look.
Celestia: "Absolutely unacceptable! How disgraceful!" She paced towards the Throne Room, and opened the doors. "Escargot!" Her tone, however, went 'chipper momma' instantly.
Princess Escargot: "OUI! Auntie!" She came over and they full on embraced.
The princess was also flanked by royal officials, including Marshal of France Canterton de Monet. I skipped all the frivlious introductions. I had a point to make.
K: "I want them out." I pointed. "Princess, I'm extrmely angry and I want to speak to you without these people registering an opinion I didn't ask them for." I was still furious.
Escargot: "Oui.. General K, so serious.." She shook her head. "Leave us!"
Mshl. Monet: "But.. your highness! We know why he is here-"
Escargot: "As do I, Marechal! OUT!" She demanded. "K?" She said, turning and pacing back to her throne, which she invited Celestia to sit in. "Explain. Everything."
K: "We encountered a potential world-ending creature known as the Smooze. We discovered that Tirek had an installation constructed in northern Quirtbeck, and that it'd been there for a while already. They were experimenting with it. They confessed that they'd created a Fail Deadly Device designed to be fired at the sun, cover it in Smooze, and not only kill Celestia, but all life on Equus, should we have killed Tirek, first. It's by pure luck that we found it." I shrugged and paced. "Of course, it was heavily guarded." I nodded. "That's where Sacquet came in. Him and his Legion... these ponies, donkeys, griffons, and zebra you see before you, are all that are left out of 72 soldiers." I shrugged wide. "What could I do? Leave the Smooze? That stuff nearly ERASED the planet ten thousand years ago!"
Escargot: "I see.." She nodded. "..go on."
K: "With a minimum of combat experience and retraining - by the by, your training manual is manure - the Legion set out with nothing but weapons captured from the enemy. Why? Because these.. LeFaucheaux converted rifles are not just crap, they're dangerous to their users." I hefted the one I brought with me. "Deudonne Lefaucheaux and I fought a duel over this. His brother is an idiot. I hope Deudonne has a kid, otherwise that entire family is in deep trouble, because his brother hasn't a brain." I scowled. "So, underequipped, undertrained, improperly supplied, with minimal experience, Colonel Phillipe Sacquet not only managed to accomplish the objective that *I* ordered him to do, with your royal writ as my authority, but he managed to do so without killing every single soldier under his command. Outnumbered twenty to one, facing an enemy better armed and equipped, with races much larger and stronger than they.." I gestured to Sacquet. "..he did better than I think I could have." I nodded to Princess Escargot. "Then three of your generals came along and stripped him of his command, informed him that he'd be placed on administrative leave until the end of the war, then discharged at half pension.. and he narrowly avoided arrest." I crossed my arms.
Escargot: "..was there a trial?" She inquired.
K: "None. They held an inquisition aboard the train on the way there, with no one defending his actions, just some after-action reports and their own bias, hubris, and outright stupidity. Any rights he has, were completely violated. Moreover, the generals likened these brave Legionnaires to whores, tramps, and trash." I shrugged. "I want every General fired immediately, including Marshal Monet. I want the Legion armed with FA-MASE F1 rifles. I want them properly trained - the entire Prench military by Equestrian advisors. I want the Legion paid on the same scale as the regular army, fed like them, and equipped like them. When that Legion was sent to those woods, they were given broken equipment, dull axes and saws, little food, and no spare water. If there hadn't been a well, there, they would have had to construct one, just to have fresh water." I pointed my finger at the ground. "I don't care, your royal highness, if this isn't Equestria. You have SERIOUS command and control problems. If Tirek invades Prance, you might manage to beat his forces, but you'll take tens of thousands of unnecessary casualties, because they're trained wrong, equipped wrong, and led by what might be the most incompetent council of boobs I've ever had the displeasure of meeting."
Celestia: "And I back everything.. EVERYTHING.. he says, My dear Niece." She narrowed her eyes. "Prance has always been the.. last member of the greater family to agree with us on everything. Your own reservations during the first NEIGHTO conference are a fine example." She shrugged her wings. "It's a good thing Dauphine Princess Beatrix loves her great aunt so much."
I knew what she just said. Celestia just up and threatened to kill her and replace her. Beatrix was six, and would need.. a caretaker government. A Regency until she came of age. Celestia, in other words. I showed zero emotion about that.. like we'd already discussed it. Which we hadn't.
Escargot: *Sigh* "I see." She raised her head. "I will.. take a few moments to consult-"
Celestia: "I don't see how that's necessary, honey." She glared.
That was dripping with 'mamma ain't happy.' I blamed the pregnancy hormones. Yes, she'd gone through with the transfer in my absence.
Escargot: "Oui, Auntie.." She lowered her head in defeat, then addressed me. "I understand your position, General." She nodded to me. "I believe you are right. But, I haven't anyone else that I trust to properly advise me on such matters. Marshal Monet has served many years.."
Sacquet: "Forgive my boldness, My Liege.." He bowed deeply to her, despite the broken leg. "..but no matter the outcome, me and my Legionnaires are, for the time being, in great trouble. General de Division Chasten Deux-Ponts has many friends in court, you see. He has already threatened Marechal K." He nodded to me. "I do not see a future for myself or my troops.. under such.. a cloud of intrigue." He said, fearing she would ask him to be her advisor.
Escargot: "Yes.. yes, as for you, I vacate all judgement against you, or any charges against your troops. I would ask, though, instead of you becoming my personal advisor, that you return to Equestria with your troops and General K, and learn from him. I fear that our great military traditions have failed us when we needed them the most, and I wish Prance to have a military it may be proud of - even if they are never used again after this war."
Sacquet: "Oui, My Liege! It shall be an honor!" He looked at me. "Seems we are stuck with each other, non?" He grinned.
K: "Could be worse!" I smirked. "Come on.." I looked at my staff, all of them. "..we should have lunch together."
Sacquet: "I know many fine restaurants." He shrugged, and looked at La Selle and his men. "You all are invited."
Sgt. La Boche: "Colonel.."
Sacquet: "We are now brothers." He put a hoof on his shoulder. "United by our.. ehm.. assignment." He smiled.
I should note that Paris, Prance is what Paris, France might look like had its revolutions not occurred. The palace we were in was, in fact, the Tuileries Palace. The Louvre Museum was just outside, though unlike my world, a large roadway cut in to the courtyards and went through a large gate, bisecting the area and preventing the Louvre Courtyard from being closed off. Behind us was the gardens, and just as in my world, open to the public. There was, however, no Arc d'Triumph, as there had been no Napoleon. They DID have, strangely, the Eiffel Tower.
I found it fascinating that I managed to visit both Berlin (MARElin) and Paris in my lifetime as a soldier. But going there in my world, as a human, was unobtainable.
I also found it fascinating that the ancient city of Paris was more or less identical to my version of things, even if Prance was shaped somewhat differently, facing kinda backwards, and had a land connection to Equestria, which replaced the United States. Marelin had been completely different than Berlin.
K: "Yes, lunch. Wonderful. I've always wanted to have lunch on the Champs-lyses, with my lovely bride." I held her hoof.
AJ: "Yer terrible, honeybun."
K: "But, first!" I walked over to the side hallway, where all the royal officials we kicked out of the throne room were hiding. "Marshal Monet!" I approached him casually.
Monet: "O-Oui, Marechal K?" He seemed nervous! My, whatever for?
I slapped him across the muzzle as hard as I could.
K: "I accuse you of willful negligence in your solemn duty to Princess Escargot and the Kingdom of Prance. You bring SHAME to your Liege, your uniform, your ENTIRE COUNTRY!" I pointed at him. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL! I must have SATISFACTION! I could NEVER work alongside the uniform of the Marshal of Prance, so long as it is filled with SUCH MANURE!"
Everyone gasped. Celestia and Escargot came in, neither looking surprised.
K: "How do you respond, Canterten?" I called him by his first name out of disrespect.
He felt the side of his cheek, his face flared with anger.. then he shook his head.
Monet: "I offer restitution. My resignation, Marechal." He nodded to me.
K: "I accept." I narrowed my eyes at him.
The crowd gasped. Again.
Monet: "Your highness, I agree - I cannot work with this human. It is either him, or ME!" He looked at her, expecting her to order me to drop the duel challenge.
The crowd gasped. AGAIN.
Escargot: "GUARDS!"
Monet looked at me smugly as the guards walked up.
Escargot: "This tramp has invaded my palace in the guise of the Marshal of Prance. Strip him of his vestments and throw him in the dumpster!" She spoke very tersely, but not shouting.
Monet: "WHAT!?" He was taken totally aback.
The crowd gasped ONCE AGAIN!
K: "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!?" I yelled at them.
They gasped, halfway, then shut up.
Escargot: "Indeed, it is unnecessary." She said to them, then looked at the guards. "You heard me! Strip him right here!" She demanded.
Monet: "THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!" He yelled.
Escargot: "SILENCE! Celestia has told me what you and your three closest cohorts have done, said, and behaved like behind my back, as has Field Marshal K. You are a disgrace! I further strip you of your royal land deeds. YOU are NO LONGER a GENTLECOLT of MY KINGDOM!" SHE yelled, this time.
Monet: "Your highness!"
Escargot: "Guards! Do as I command, or I shall ask these foreigners to!"
Sacquet: "No need, My Liege!" He stepped up with his Legionnaires. "Legionnaires! Strip this sack of manure out of the uniform of Prance's Marshal!"
Monet: "NO! NOT BY THESE SCUM!" He started trying to strip himself.
Gorton: "GET 'IM!" He pointed.
Only for the REST of the Legionnaires to tackle him and SHRED the uniform off of him, as he screamed and tried to resist.
La Selle: "Mon Colonel, I am afraid zis sack of shit has destroyed zis uniform." She held up the epaulettes.
Escargot: "No matter. The next Marshal of Prance will have a new one. This one was made filthy, anyway." She GLARED at Monet. "You heard my orders, Legion." She sniffed. "Take out this trash!"
Monet: "UNHAND ME! YOU FILTH! YOU WHORESONS! YOU WHORES! YOU SCUM! YOUR MOTHERS WERE GERBILS! UNHAND MEEeeeeeeee.....!!" He screamed as they DRAGGED his naked ass away.
Sacquet: "My Liege-"
Escargot: "One day, that uniform will be yours, Phillipe." She put a hoof on his shoulder. "Earn it." She implored.
Sacquet: "My LIEGE!" He bowed to her hoofs.
Escargot: "Please, rise." She nodded to him. "You have much to do, Phillipe. When your great tasks are done, come to me, we will see to your future." She said, comfortingly. "But, first. Eat." She handed him the Prench royal credit card.
Sacquet: "My Liege!" He was stunned.
Escargot: "The least I can do, for my bravest officer." She gave him a very warm smile.
Well! Despite first appearances, it seems Sacquet and his Legion will be a part of my adventures, now. Fascinating outcome. And being promised the title of Marshal of Prance? Sacquet is one lucky guy.
[End of Part 3]
Part 4: Gay Paree!
TIME: 12:07 Prench Royal Standard Time
DATE: War Day 488/17 Octavius 1003 C.S.
LOCATION: Champs-lyses, Paris, France
Walking arm-in-arm with my bride. Along the Champs-lyses. In Paris. In the summer. Spring would have been more romantic, but this was fine. I could hear more than one accordion playing. I could see people strolling about. I could feel.. that this is what MY Paris should have felt like before Modernization really killed it.
I was in the clouds, just walking with her. She was on all fours, with one foreleg fetlock in my had. She was wearing denim pants, a green shirt, and a red vest. Her hair was in the breeze, long gone her father's hat. Her fetlock ring shining like her eyes.
And everyone was behind us, chattering about this and that. Celestia wasn't here, though. She stayed behind with Princess Escargot. I started humming one of the songs from Beauty And The Beast.
AJ: "Mm.. y'takes me t'th' finest places, honeybun." She was just as entranced as I was.
K: "I always wanted to do this. Armed." I smirked.
AJ: "Mm.." She rubbed her head against me. "..ah'm hungry, but darnit, ah want you so bad right naow."
Sacquet: "Paris has this effect." He shrugged.
K: "Sure does." I shrugged. "City of Lights. City of Love."
I stared off to the south-west at the Eiffel Tower, the area near it our destination. A five kilometer walk, as we were taking the long way around.
I could hear Gorcat and Gorton chatting, too. About the future of their family. Gorcat was wanting to get his uncle settled down again, somewhere in Equestria, when the war was over. Norfy suggested Detrot. Cosmic suggested Baltimare. Twilight, of course, suggested Ponyville.
Jade asked if she'd be welcome at the Canterlot magic school. Twilight assured her she'd get her in. Rarity was wondering if she'd be able to sell some of her designs, here, of course. Fluttershy was flitting around the greenery, introducing herself to the animal life. Dash and Gilda were like me and AJ, very affectionately.
The walk was enjoyable. We ended up forgetting there WAS a war on. Finally, we got to a street across the river where there was nothing but restaurants.
Sacquet took the lead, here, and directed us to one of the much nicer ones. Le Cafe Dannelle.
Dannelle: "Phillipe!?" She screamed almost as soon as he entered.
An older mare. Easily old enough of to be his mother. She embraced him, and started chattering in Prench at him.
All thirty or so of us entered behind him.
Sacquet: "My friends? This is my aunt Dannelle, my mother's sister." He nodded. "This is her and my uncle's restaurant." He beamed a grin.
K: "This place is lovely!" I stepped in with Applejack.
Dannelle: "Oui! Phillipe.. who are zese.. friends of yours?!" She was excited to see us.
Sacquet: "These are the elements of harmony - Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. This is Applejack's husband, General-Field Marshal of Equestria, K---- K---. With him, also, is miss Gilda, lover of Rainbow Dash, Warrant Officer Gorcat, and miss Jade, along with K's advisors and best friends, Norfy Loconsole, Cosmic Plane, and Lidless Gaze. Commandant of the Equestrian Royal Marines Forest Spirit, his wife, Generosity Redheart, our dedicated doctor, Cody Allcome, his current assistant, Kindness Sweetheart, Gendarmes from Las Pegasus miss Dusty Dunes, leader of the very first Ranger Regiment, miss Derpy Whooves, and her husband Dr. Whooves, and their child Dinky.." He turned to the others. "My second-in-command, Julianne La Selle, third in command, Gorton, my sergeant, La Boche. And my remaining Legionnaires.. Corporal-Major Gasconade, Corporal Le Touf, Corporal Adrion, and Legionnaires Zedarcin, Zorola, Ramastes, Georges Andre, Gelkam, and Nonali Hesput."
Danelle: "My goodness!" She flushed with glee. "Please! Sit where you like!" She dashed into the back.
K: "Nice lady." I said, pulling AJ's chair for her.
AJ: "Thank'ya, hun."
Dr. Allcome: "This really is a very nice restaurant."
Dr. Whooves: "Mmm.." He hugged Dinky. "I should take you here before giving Dinky a brother or sister."
Derpy: "You sweet-talker, you."
There was chatter going on.. I was just looking at my pony wife. Thinking about how I wished I could bring J-- here. She was looking around at everything. Staring, chattering.. I was lost in a trance. Just watching her.
I don't even remember what we ate. I could have been served hay, and I probably would have eaten it.
We broke up into smaller groups after that, with Gasconade taking some of the more adventurous ones to a semi-seedy dive bar, Sacquet escorting most of the rest around Paris.. and me and Applejack, sitting at the table, still, well past three.
Applejack: "Mmm.. sech good wine.." She finished her glass. "Yew alright, honeybun? Y'been starin' at me fer hours!"
K: "I can't take my eyes off of Paris' most beautfiul attraction." I said, still entranced.
Applejack: *BLUSH* "A-aw, honeybun! Y'all'er actin' like this's our first date!" She was beet red.
K: "Still feels like it. Even after three years." I put my hand on her fetlock. "I love you."
Applejack: "Ah love yew." She leaned over.
We kissed, next to the candle.. in a little cafe in Paris.
After another hour, we departed. Walking around Paris, we watched a travelling puppet show (and didn't understand a word, but put the pieces together from the actions), observed a mime, listened to some accordion and violin music from some street performers.. walked.. said very little.. but held hands/hooves the whole time.
Night finally came. We found ourselves in Saint Hambert (Lambert) Square. Sitting on a bench, a human and a pony. Cuddled to each other, just watching the stars.
???: "LET ME GO!" A young filly screamed.
We were both snapped out of our daze. My hand whipped to my M-19, and she drew her Earp (a revolver based on the Custer-Hickock series with a 7-inch barrel, chambered in 10x30mm Pony Express Magnum). We went towards the source of the sounds..
Applejack: "I'm gonn'a poke me some holes.." She sneered.
..and found a filly being stuffed into a sack by two Griffons and a Gizmonk.
K: "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" I went to a knee, aiming at the Gizmonk. "YOU, GIZMONK, HANDS IN THE AIR!"
Gizmonk: "Shhhit! It's the human! YOU SAID HE WAS NOWHERE NEAR HERE!" He hissed at the larger Griffon.
Applejack: "Y'all griffons better jes' keep yer claws where'st I c'n see 'um!"
Griffon #1: "Well! He was AT the PALACE, last I checked!" He growled.
K: "Ah.. 'scu'se me? Pardon me? Yes? We're THE ONES WITH THE GUNS!? Remember us? Yeah? You going to give up, keep arguing, or make us shoot you?" I tilted my head.
Gizmonk: "Well... you didn't bring the guns, did you!?" He patted himself down.
Griffon #2: "..fergot, boss." He realized that, too, and just raised his arms.
Gizmonk: "YOU TWO ARE IDIOTS!" He yelled at them, but raised his hands, turned towards me-
And I cocked the hammer back, raising to aim precisely at his head.
K: "Try it. I'm faster." He was going to attempt an escape.. "Very.. very slowly.. lower your tail to the ground and uncurl it." I cocked a brow. "Smoke bomb?"
Gizmonk: "...how the HELL did you know that?!" He did as ordered.
K: "It'd be a Good Guy Mistake to assume you DIDN'T have one." I smirked. "Lay down flat. Right hand behind your head, palm up. Left hand at your waist, palm up. Legs spread WIIIIDE.. feet-palms up." I instructed.
Applejack: "Ah got th' kid, honeybun." She paced over, still covering them, and reached for the bag.
Problem is, you have three targets and two rescuers. The second griffon, closer to the bag, darted over and reached for her at the same time the first one went for me, my attention diverted to the Gizmonk.
I didn't have much choice, I turned away from him, tucked the gun in a Central Axis Relock, shoved my shoulder into the Griffon, and fired three rounds into his gut.
The one grabbing at Applejack was roundhouse kicked to the beak, and when she landed, she put two rounds into his skull.
The griffon I'd shot, fell forwards, landing on me. I shoved him off just as the smoke bomb exploded.
K: "FUCKING HELL! AJ!"
Applejack: "Raight here!" She tapped along the ground until she reached me. "That sucker's slipperier than a greased up snake on a water slide!" She snorted.
I could hear Paris Gendarmes coming. The sound of shouting, whistles, and calamity.
K: "We don't want to get mixed up with them." I pointed in the direction of the Gendarmes whistles. "Come on!" I pulled her along with me, trying to find the Gizmonk.
I saw him scale a storefront, WITH the sack!
K: "Oh, that BASTARD!" I gave chase. "GO GET THE TEAM!" I instructed.
Applejack: "DAMN STRAIGHT!" She took off.
Considering, of course, that Applejack can't climb and I can. I started scaling the side of the building, the planter and shop sign giving good purchase. When I got to the roof, the Gizmonk was already on the other side. I didn't have a clear shot by any means, so I started pumping those legs, trying to catch up.
Below us, I could hear Gendarmes whistle-signalling to each other - there should be at least one in the alley behind the building, if my ears were working right. Time to use my below-elementary French!
K: "LES CRIMINEL EST!" Not a complete sentence, but I hoped they got the idea.
Paris Gendarmes: "LE VOILA! J'ai besoin d'aide!"
Paris Gendarmes #2: "Nous arrivons!"
Gizmonk: "..shhhit!" He spun around to face me.
K: "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" I double-hand gripped the M-19 and got into a combat crouch with it.
Gizmonk: "You just don't give up, do you, human!?" He was at the edge of the roof.
K: "Put the SACK down on the ROOF and raise ALL your free appendages!" I wanted him alive. I needed answers.
Paris Gendarmes #1: "Je suis dans la ruelle
l'arrire de la boutique!"
Paris Gendarmes #2: "Nous sommes
ses cts!"
K: "NOW!" I glanced to the side of the building from where I heard the voice. "OR I DROP YOU RIGHT HERE!" I had no choice - the Gendarmes wouldn't automatically recognize my authority and might jump ME instead of HIM.
Gizmonk: "YER BLUFFING! YOU NEED ME!" He sneered.
K: "...not that much." *PAMMM!*
Right between the eyes. He fell off the roof, and the sack landed on the edge. I ran over to it, and grabbed it up in my arms. Looking down, I saw the Gizmonk land right next to the Gendarmes in the alley.
K: "Je suis le marchal d'Equestria. Invoque la princesse Escargot." I said calmly to the Gendarmes looking up at me.
I practiced THAT one before even going to Quirtbeck. JUST IN CASE no one spoke English.
And I surrendered to them. Peaceably.
[End of Part 4]
Part 5: Ring Around the Roses
TIME: 23:13 GMT
DATE: War Day 488/17 Octavius 1003 C.S.
LOCATION: Royal Palace, Paris, France
I was in custody as Princess Escargot was summoned. They got the idea that I was foreign military by my uniform shirt, but they didn't really know what a human was, who "Marechal K" was, or anything like that. Sooo... they took me at my word that I was Equestria's commander, in so far as they didn't handcuff me.
After all, I was holding a little filly of about 12, and I wasn't about to let her go.
About all I got out of her was that her name was Pomme Florale. Or, Floral Apple, in French. Applejack had surrendered to the Gendarmes along with me, having been caught a block away with a firearm and no Royal Pass.
Sgt. Frites: "She seem very grateful, oui?" He brought her a large cup of water.
K: "Oui, Sergent." Again, below elementary, a word here and there.
Florale: "Sank you.." She took the water and drank it all down.
Applejack: "Y'all look a sight, hun.." She shook her head, trying to clean her off a bit.
Pomme Florale was very dirty, in a torn and shabby pastel orange dress that long ago lost its lustre, with a front smock held on by a torn-and-tied strap. Her face was filthy. Her hooves were worn and chipped.
Princess Escargot came in with Princess Celestia at about that time.
Escargot: "You may release him. This is Genreal K of Equestria and his wife. They are to be given every accomodation, understand?"
Sgt. Frites: "Oui, My Liege!" He bowed to her. "A thousand pardons, General!"
K: "It's fine. You did your job, and did it well." I nodded to him.
Florale slid down from Applejack's lap and curtseyed before Princess Escargot.
Florale: "Bonjour, Princese!" She smiled.
Escargot: "You poor dear!" Escargot, now, tried to clean her off!
Florale giggled at the attention.
K: "Pomme.. do you have parents?" I asked, finally.
Florale: "Non.." She looked at the ground. "..zey were taken away long ago." She sighed. "Zese same ones, zey come for me! I know what happens.. I will be.. extracted!" She said, fearfully.
K: "Well.." I looked at Applejack. "Come on, honey, her name literally means Floral Apple. She BELONGS with us!"
Applejack: "Y'all didn't haft'a even say it, honeybun." She paced forwards and hugged Pomme. "Y'all're comin' home with us. Me 'n K'll be yer Ma and Pa, now." She smiled warmly.
Florale: "JOU MEANS IT!?!" She was elated, squealing happily.
K: "Heck yeah. If you don't mind your Daddy being a human.." I shrugged.
Florale: "OUI! OUI! MON PAPA!" She tackle-hugged me.. for a starving filly, she had some strength!
Right about then, Sacquet arrived with La Selle and a couple of the Legionnaires.
K: "Ahh.. kinda adopted one of the kids around here.." I chuckled, and looked at Celestia. "Sooo.. what's the cultural thing with a stallion and two mares each having kids?"
Celestia: "Somehow, K.." *Giggle* "..I don't think anyone is going to mind!"
The next hour or so was spent feeding the poor waif. She'd survived on scraps and grazing at the parks for the last several months. Really, when we pegged down her timeline, it synched up with the Battle of Marelin.
K: "So.. if I'm getting this right, the mass kidnappings started around then. Both for the Smooze experiments and for.. this extraction stuff."
Twilight: "We've heard this story before. Remember?" She nodded across the table at me.
Celestia: "Indeed. We've heard before that Tirek has a way to 'extract the rainbow' from Ponies." She shrugged her wings.
Dash: "Yeah, and they started before the war began." She shook her head.
Sacquet: "Unfortunately, the second Griffon died on the way to the hospital." He gestured with one hoof.
K: "Unfortunate, but it's not like I had a choice." I waved dismissively.
Applejack: "Hm. Darn mah natural awesome skill.." She wrung her hooves in front of her.
Dash: "Hey, that's my line." Tongue.
Applejack: "Stick that worm out it's hole 'gain, an' I'll find a bird ta snatch it." She leered at her.
Floral: "Zees pie is wonderful.." She was eating a chicken pot pie made by the palace chef, while sitting in my lap. "..et has been so long sinze I had z'chicken." She nuzzled in to me. "Mon papa.." She nodded at the Tarts the chef brought us, as if to ask if it was okay.
K: "Starlight's gonna be happy." I heaved a happy sigh. "I'm so tired." I looked down at her. She picked at her food, but in a way that told me she enjoyed the taste more than the craving to fill her belly. A good sign, but.. "Finish up, hon, then you can have a Tart." See, now I was worried about her making herself sick, eating so much rich food on a near-empty stomach.
Dr. Allcome: "Eh.. she should be okay, K." He reassured me.
K: "Oh, alright. Go ahead. Doctor says its okay." I nodded.
Floral: "Whee!" She snarfed that Tart like it wasn't even there.
Celestia: "Speaking of which.. I feel my sister's presence." She looked towards the doors to the room.
I just reached under the table.
K: "Sneaky-sneaky." I grabbed Starlight and pulled HER up into my lap as Luna entered. "Starlight, this is your new sister Pomme Florale."
Starlight: "YAY! I have a SISTER!" She hugged her immediately. "Wait, how'ju know I was down there?" She looked right at me.
K: "Daddy Sense." I smirked. No, really, I just guessed.
Florale: "Whee! Now I have sister, too!?" She hugged me again. "Mon papa, und momma.." She beamed.
K: "This is Momma Luna." I nodded to her. "Hey, hun."
Luna: "My Love." She nuzzled me, then Applejack. "Seems our family is growing."
Celestia: *URP!* "Uhm.. pardon me." She moved pretty fast for a pregnant mare!
K: "...no kidding." I smirked. "Lookit me, guys. I'm going to have two women and a mess'a kids." I smirked.
Norfy: "We're very happy for you." He grinned.
Forest Spirit: "Yeah, considering at least one came from me."
Celestia returned at that point.
Celestia: "Actually, Commandant, in keeping with the marksmanship traditions of the Marines, you seeded twins." She smirked.
Forest Spirit: "HOT DAMN!" He whinnied with glee, and tapped his hooves.
Redheart: "Mmmm.. nice shooting, honey. That's four for four."
Forest Spirit: "OH! YEss!" He puffed his chest out, now, and chuffed like an alpha stallion.
Cosmic: "Nice going, Spirit." He patted him on the back.
Applejack: "OOooooo... no 'fense, Princess, but 'm glad I skipped THIS'un!" She grinned, too.
K: "Four kids. Holy smoke. Good thing I'm going to have a pension.." I looked at everyone.
Luna: "We shall have such a lovely family." She snugged into the pile, and sighed. "This.. this does make up for.." She looked at Escargot, who wasn't in on all the Royal secrets. "..what I lost."
Florale: "So.. my other mama.. iz zee moon princess?!" She beamed.
K: "Yes, honey." I hugged. "Really.. we're ALL family, here." I looked at Sacquet. "I seem to be gaining brothers and sisters by the day."
Sacquet: "You do me honour." He nodded.
K: "No, I mean it. You shed blood with me, you're my brothers and sisters, now." I nodded at them.
Fluttershy: "I agree." She looked up. "I have a better family now than I ever did before."
Pinkie: "Oh, yeah." She nodded. "For sure!"
Twilight: "Ehh.. I can't replace Shining, but you guys.." She shook her head at us. "..you make me feel like I have a LOT of siblings."
Celestia: "Lesson learned, my student?"
Twilight: "Lesson learned. Sometimes, family isn't the ones you're related to by blood, and sometimes THAT family can love you way more than a blood relative ever could." She nodded.
Spike: "Yeah. I know THAT one." He grinned.
K: "Oh-oh.. I have a sleeping pair of Fillies, here." Indeed, they'd both fallen asleep. "I got this."
I managed to get up, holding them both. Applejack and Luna accompanied me to the royal guest chambers. Since night was Luna's domain, she just sat at the end of the bed, talking idly to me and Applejack about what we can do in the future as a family. Soon enough, we both fell asleep.
My dream.. was a world at peace.
{End of Chapter 49}
